Valentine’s Day 2025: Your mission, should you choose to accept it. Find a restaurant in a town you have never visited before that doesn’t have a poncy Valentine’s menu, and serves decent food.

Why do any of us go out on Valentine’s Night? Do card manufacturers put fairy dust in their products such that we are sufficiently tranquilised to accept a menu that is twice the price, half the quality, and often served in a dining room where every spare table and chair has been stuffed?

We had little choice: A weekend had opened up when we believed our usual caring responsibilities were being met by another family member (And not even a blue moon in sight), so we had to grab the chance for a little coastal walking, and that coincided with this most cursed of dining nights.

The Fig had good TripAdvisor reviews (not always reliable these days, but the reviews felt real), and the website was not pushing a hearts and flowers menu, so we took the plunge.

I’m starting backwards on this review, partly because I have managed to not take a picture of the menu, only the wine list, so you’ll just have to imagine the other delights…

First thing to note: This is a proper small plates place. None of this pseudo small plates and larges plates nonsense which are just starters and mains in disguise and where they stare at you in amazement when you say you actually do want to share. No, this is the real deal, and if you don’t like to share, this is not the place for you (ruling out a number of people in my family, straight off).

Next thing, the service is good. Friendly and efficient, even on a night when the place was packed to the rafters.

Third thing, this is not a place for the shy. We wondered at one point whether it was actually Rye’s secret swinging venue, as the people on one side of us kept telling us about their food, and the people on the other became BFFs with their adjacent table mates. Fortunately, we are notoriously friendly and social, so all was well… And nothing was exchanged except pleasantries..

Anyhow, food. And I am going to focus on this, as the bottle of Picpoul we had was average at best. It is a wine that has become the Australian Chardonnay de nos jours, available on every menu, a once great wine choice now only patchily drinkable, but instantly recognisable. Pinot Grigio has already suffered the same fate, and Gavi is next on the chopping block.

I mean, it all looks so beautiful!

The Aubergine was spicy hot, and just amazingly rich tasting. The Beets has whipped Roquefort for goodness sake. What sort of evil genius does that? Quite amazing

Jerusalem Artichoke is a major new player on menus across the country at the moment, and Mrs N has long professed a dislike to them. She could not complain about the tart filling (as it was great), so instead complained about the pastry which was, actually, far too short and the one bum note on the food front. (Edit: I have been seriously admonished for this last paragraph. Apparently I was the miserable sod who didn’t like the pastry. So that’s me told…)

Halloumi and Mushrooms: Lots (lots!) of garlic, and the kale and tomatoes worked really well.

And Prawn Tacos, an interesting choice of ingredient. But they were really tasty, again spicy, and a background note of caraway which really lifted the dish.

We left in a bit of a food daze. It was not a long meal, as the dishes flew onto the table, but each one was true food magic in its own right. Mrs N mentioned it in the same hallowed breath as Riva in Barnes, which is one of Britain’s must-eat-at restaurants (have the antipasti, and never look at another piece of salami the same way again)

There are not really enough dishes on the menu to do more than one night, sadly, but we may well be traveling back to Rye just to come to the Fig.

Conclusion

Overall Rating: 5/5

• Food: 6/5
• Wine: 3.5/5
• Service: 5/5
• Atmosphere: 5/5
• Value for money: 5/5
• Will be we back: 5/5

The Fig: https://thefigrye.com/