It is astonishing anyone is in this restaurant. Not because it is bad, but because it is tucked away in what looks like a mini-industrial estate, at the far end of an ever darkening alley.

Once you arrive, getting in a something of a challenge, with the entrance door more the sort of thing you would associate with the less salubrious type of club found further east in Soho (I would imagine…), and possibly the smallest vestibule of any eating establishment in Britain. The somewhat vicious self-closing mechanism on the door has, I suspect, created more than its fair share of broken noses for the unsuspecting second person through the entrance.

Everything changes once you are inside. The decor is minimalist without being uncomfortable, and given that you are in a railway arch, it feels pretty spacious and well lit. And by God are the staff friendly. You really feel welcome, and not in a faux American type of way. I actually felt they wanted us to enjoy the food and the evening.

We kicked off with cocktails and nibbles.

Unusually these days, they stuck with the classics. The Paloma was a particular favourite (Having found favour on an earlier visit in the summer), and I was very happy with my Negroni. There is a reason that classic cocktails are formulated the way there are, and I think there should be a law against messing with them, or you should at least have to offer the original too.

It is another one of these places to visit in a group (or visit several times), as there is good selection of unmissable starters.

The scallops were very good indeed (aided by an excellent sauce), but the standout dishes were the flatbreads, in particular the bone marrow (although the pumpkin was an excellent vegetarian alternative)

Main courses were not quite as good (we had all three), and in all honestly, a bit pricey, especially the fish (which was also a bit cold). Not sure quite what justified the 38 quid, to be honest. The Onglet and especially the lamb were all very good. The two pasta we had (the Fettucini and the Tagilioni) also both passed muster.

Next time we come, we are going to have more starters (maybe double up) and have fewer mains. The broccoli, I should add, really was worth it, and I really could have had two of those.

Pudding is very important to some people (not I), and so I was not allowed to escape at this point.

We had Bomboloni and, somewhat worryingly, Tiramisu. I am always concerned when there is a Tiramisu order, as expectations in our family are insanely high, especially as the home-made version served at home is (I am told) delicious: There is always something irksome about going to a restaurant and being charged for something you can cook better yourself.

You don’t always get a candle – You do have to bring your own birthday person. Fortunately, the deserts were a triumph, and we were allowed to go home.

An honourable mention goes to the wine list, which is pretty reasonably priced. We had a bottle of Vinho Verde, which was light and refreshing.

This really is an amazing restaurant, and a great place to go for a special occasion. A shout out to the staff and the kitchen. Super friendly, and inventive cooking (just a slight miss on food temperature sometimes). We could have ordered a little better, and if you skip the nibbles and cocktails, and avoid the main courses (maybe opting for pasta), it can be a good value meal for the quality. If not, expect a bill to match!

Conclusion

Rating: 5/5

Archway: https://archwaybattersea.co.uk/